Vows for Sale, here’s a laugh for you!!!

Good morning,

Good afternoon,

Or Good evening,

Whatever part of the world you live in, if you know English you will enjoy a good laugh anytime, and I have some good jokes coming up to you in this post but first !!! This post is part of the Humor therapy month I already started on my facebook page if you haven’t read my previous post on this subject I advice that you do, you’ll find some funny but extremely educative materials in it, then will you be a sweetheart and spare five minutes to check the facebook page out ? have a few laughs, share the jokes and help spread smiles and joy around? Here’s the link again:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rana-Armoush/266311370081448

enjoy it!

! During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

“Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.”

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”

funny wedding

funny wedding

 Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy,
he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

“Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

husband and wife in bed funny cartoon photo

husband and wife in bed funny cartoon photo

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I announce it a humor month!Laugh your sickness away!!!!

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide:

1.Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

2. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?

3. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Laugh

Laugh

4.Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

Joke

Joke

You have probably heard about the laughter or humor therapy. This term has been introduced to the wide media audience through the past ten years, and after a lot or research and studies.

joke

joke

.

If you are wondering how humor and laughter can help cure your pain and illness or at least ease them, here’s an idea:

Chris Woolston, M.S. wrote uPagesnder the title of ”  Humor Therapy“:

“…..Researchers found that people who watched a funny 60-minute video experienced a significant drop in so-called stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Scientists say these hormones can contribute to a wide range of stress-related illnesses including depression and heart disease…”

“… Humor may also ease pain…The researchers also found that people with heart disease were 40 percent less likely to laugh in a variety of situations compared to people of the same age without heart disease.”

You can read more about this issue on : http://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/article.asp?AID=647533

So as you have probably concluded it’s time to erase  that frown off your face, and start wearing a smile instead! Laugh people laugh! Laugh about life, about your problems, about work… and if you can’t do it, then apply this old but very affective proverb: Fake it until you make it 🙂

cute-angry girl

cute-angry girl

Laugh to save your life, cure your heart, ease your pain and cure your depression! And laughter is contagious, that’s why they say laugh and the world will laugh with you!!!

laugh-joke

laugh-joke

Try the following exercise:  after dinner tonight, when the whole family is gathering in the living room, watching T.V. Start laughing, for no reason at all! Laugh out loud , fake it and laugh. Sure they’re going to ask you what’s wrong with you, and why you’re laughing. Ignore the questions and keep laughing, a few minutes later the whole family will be laughing. No one will know why but they’ll sure enjoy it and the evening will be much more pleasant!!!

Mr Bean- Monalisa

Mr Bean- Monalisa

[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

So I’m announcing a whole month of laughter on my facebook page, I will be posting jokes, funny quotes, funny pictures, cartoons , briefly anything that will draw a smile on your face. I will be laughing and waiting for all of you cute readers to laugh with me. Make this month a month of humor therapy in your life as well, join me , post your jokes, share other people jokes and help make the world a better and more happy place.

Here’s the link to facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rana-Armoush/266311370081448

I hope to see a lot of you participating in this ” Humor Therapy Month, Help earth Laugh”

Last but not least: have a laugh… Hhahahahahah

Social Security A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.” The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”

jokes

jokes

We are not them!

Don’t be afraid my love

Our story is different from theirs

The rain will tell you

that you are my passion

and then, the wind knows it too

Winter realizes how I love you

since the cold, makes me long for your warmth so,

And I know, love

how you stay up in your nights

the moon is my spy, you see

and he told yesterday

how in love you are with me

Don’t be afraid my love

Our story is different from theirs

We live because we love

because we are born in love

And I,

I could feel, your heart pulses

sneaking into my blood

and you,

you could feel me in your heart

setting fire, controlling the beats

you are mine , and I am yours

and tomorrow,

spring will blossom in our dreams

and the sun,

will send its warmth to ignite every hope

and life will always smile…

But in difficulties,

I promise,

In the middle of the rain

I will be there for you

to care and ease your pain

and we will grow stronger

because our love is true

so don’t worry about others, we are not them!

forget you fear, and allow me sir

to keep falling in love with you.

A Wedding In Wonderland!

Re-blogged from  Photo Nature Blog (http://photonatureblog.com/2012/01/13/snowy-river/)

Snowy River January 13, 2012

Last week my fellow blogger Photo Nature Blog posted this amazing photo on his blog. The first time I saw it I was speechless, for the first time in my life I wasn’t able to put two words together to give the talented photographer the complement he deserves. I commented on the photo by simply saying “speechless”, and felt that this word replaces thousands of complements!

But for some reason, I wasn’t able to delete the memory of this photo from my mind, nor to distract myself from thinking about it! That was weird to me since I’m not much of a snow person, I actually don’t like winter and can’t wait until spring replaces it! So why couldn’t I stop thinking about this precise photo? Well it’s simple “I was inspired”! Something inside my head kept shouting out, wanting to describe the beauty that this lens has captured, therefore I wrote:

My eager thoughts abandoned me , in a moment time has stopped!

Eyes wide open, I was looking around,

Is this a dream?

or a vision of what heaven might be?

Frozen beauty surrounding me, angel corals singing from above

Trees, just like shy brides, dressed in White!

I wonder where the groom might be

Nature is invited to witness this love,

Even the lake sang most beautifully

Snow fairies flying around, sending kisses of refreshing cold

Oh my!  how this cold feels warm inside, I’m beholding God’s touch of beauty

Blessed I felt, among Man, to be here on this glorious day

when winter weds this part of Earth, and grants thee such wonderful grace,

I wanted to skate, just like the whisperers of the elegant breathe

touching the surface of that fluffy crust with nothing but may bare feet!

I gaze around, in so much joy! “Oh winter! You talented painter you!

An artist!

What a wonderful piece work!

Have I fallen back in love with you?

Oh winter! You’ve awaken my soul, and the poet that has been sleeping for a while inside of me!

Oh Winter! Ever so slow in you reactions, oh how wise of you

to stop your journey and take your time and paint

the most beautiful painting I’ve seen!

With my feet dipped in snow, and my body shivering with that warming cold,

A snow fake lands on a tree branch next to me!

I reach for it, with a delicate hand

but something within awakens me!

Alas! I wasn’t in wonderland!

I was in a dream inside a photo

a talented photographer has captured this scene!

Alas! It felt so real though, that I’ll never forget this wedding celebration

When the trees, dressed in white, held hands with snow and said “I do” !

Soon you’ll be leaving on your honeymoon, As springs sets foot and replaces You!

Baby Blues Attack!

I’ve been having the feeling that something is just not right about my life lately!

Two days ago, after I finished my shower, I was drying my hair in front of the mirror, when I saw a pair of scissors on the shelf next to me and the craziest idea popped into my mind! I grabbed the scissors and started chopping my long, beautiful, just recently highlighted hair!

After I was done, reality punched its cruel fist at me! What have I done! I knew I was going through one of my famous blackout moments! Cutting my hair was my way of dealing with blues, the hardest types of blues, since I was 17 years old! Every two or 3 years, I get this insane feeling, the need, the urge, to cut my lovely hair! and I start growing it all over again!

I had to sit down for a while, sipping a cup of dark coffee and writing down a list of my life’s recent highlights, some sort of reality check!

1- My marriage: a very happy marriage, so this is not the reason.

2-My home: one of those dream houses, again not the reason.

3- Our family: all are very supportive, and caring.No not it.

4-My health: very well, thanks God!

5- My dreams: most of them came true, the others are on their way!

6-My daughter: An angel! I can’t imagine someone who loves her baby more than me! But since she was born, I haven’t been able to get anything accomplished! It seems as if my life is rotating around this tiny creature! I haven’t had any “ME” time, and If I go out with my husband and leave her with someone, I feel heart-broken as if I have done a terrible act of selfishness and I’m not worthy of being a mother! When she cries and I don’t succeed in comforting her “which happens sometimes”  My tears start dropping like the Niagara Falls!

So that’s it! It’s the Evil effect of that horrible baby blues ! And one would think that after 3 months of delivery this won’t happen! After I gave birth to Anna, I was glad not to have the pleasure of getting face to face with the famous baby blues that everyone talks about! but, here it is! a delayed unhappy surprise! And my poor hair paid the price! Why new moms get the baby blues any way?  Google once again offered me the answer: “Having a baby is stressful—no matter how much you’ve looked forward to it or how much you love your child. Considering the sleep deprivation, new responsibilities, and lack of time for yourself, it’s no surprise that a lot of new moms feel like they’re on an emotional roller coaster. ” (http://helpguide.org/)

It’s funny how good it felt after I cut my hair!  Yes its true I made a mess and I needed to get myself to the nearest hairstylist  to clean it up!  ” Once you know that I’m a Gemini you’ll not encounter this behavior as weird”. I know it’s just a phase that will fade away, because I’m a healthy young woman with a supportive husband and a loving family, and because I thank God everyday for the blessing of being a mother and having a wonderful baby girl like Anna. Babies grow up in a blink! I remember I used to hear my grandma tell my mom”Be patient, one day you’ll close your eyes and when you open them you’ll notice they have grown! ” My grandma had Ten children, My mom had four, and I’m struggling with this little angle! God bless the previous generations, we are a generation of spoiled mothers I tell you! We women know that, but we keep it a secret from our men! shhhh…

I was caught by surprise when my husband suddenly opened the front door! “Someone give me a hat!!!!! ” I thought to myself! He stood in the entrance staring on what used to be an amazing long hair, and which looks now like a piece of agricultural land which has been harvest in the driest day of the season!

Later that night, I was sipping wine and eating chestnuts by our fire-place with the great man I married, enjoying my new, improved hair cut “After my stylist saved my life off course! Thank you Makram!”

Funny but Precious!

I just love Cats!

I found these gorgeous photos on net and just wanted to share them

Enjoy!

Rana

Pictures displayed on this blog are taken from Google, and  or from different sites. The writer of this blog, doesn’t claim any copyrights of the above pictures.