She stares at her reflection in the mirror as she combs her hair, as if she’s staring at a total stranger! She doesn’t know who’s that woman any more! That’s not her, those sad eyes aren’t her’s? That yellow skin and the ruins of a delightful smile, who do they belong to?
She has learned to fake her smiles lately, she has learned to play the role of the happy woman. Everyone around her envy her, they think because she doesn’t talk about her problems , that she has none! She starts brushing her teeth, with her sight focused on the sink. She’s ashamed to look into the mirror again, she doesn’t know how to explain herself to herself! That sad reflection is demanding an explanation, is hunting her to know why she’s doing the awful crime of suffering in silence! Oh but what does that reflection knows about life any way? She rinse her mouth with some water, grabs a towel and pat her wet lips avoiding any contact with the mirror! “I’m starting to hate mirrors” she thought, remembering how she used to spend hours in front of her mirror trying on different suits and different styles of make up. How pretty she used to feel, those times seem to be from the ancient past to her now. She feels so old, although she’s still in her early twenties.
She loved him, he loved her. They went on that crazy adventure and stood hand in hand against the whole world. He promised her that she’s going to be his queen for the rest of their lives together, she promised to love and cherish him until death do them apart. Now they’re together, the world that once was against them is now by their side. The people who tried to talk them out of their craziness in the past, are now jealous of how happy they seem to be. He treats her well, so well in fact that its to good to be true !
She hangs the towel back in its place, and leaves the bathroom. It’s time for doing the same boring house chores! As she vacuum clean the living room, she remembers the day they bought those sofa’s. They were still on the run, preparing secretly to get married. They rented an apartment in the country side away from anyone who might know them! They convinced the owner that they were newly weds! They had to furnish the place, she stayed and cleaned while he went out to get some cash from the bank. They were so excited to have their own place! When she saw the sofas she immediately fell in love with them, all she could thin of was all the wonderful love moments that they’ll be sharing on those sofas as they watch TV, or just chill in the evening by the fire-place! She draws a sad smile on her face, oh how cold and lonely these sofas seem to be now!
Into the bedroom she went. She opened the dark curtains, allowing a weak beam of sun ray to enter. She started picking up his pyjamas and socks from the ground. He has that annoying habit of throwing everything on the ground! He doesn’t bother to walk a few steps to put his clothes in the washing basket. She has told him many times that she felt insulted by that behavior, as if she was a maid and her job is to pick up after him. He promised her to change that habit, but promises with him remain promises. she makes that large bed, and spreads new sheets. She remembered that he picked that bedroom! He said he loved it because it had a large bed, on which they can roll freely every night! “We gonna need the largest bed you have”He said to the sales man as he looked at her and winked, her cheeks blushed! “Newly weds ha!”the sales man said smiling at the young couple as he walked them into a large gallery of bedrooms. “You have to know that you’ll be spending most of your time in that bed my lady”He whispered in her ears, and she blushed again! She takes a long look at that bed,oh how did that safe refugee turn into a silent death trap!
She tries to figure out what happened, why did their lives change! Where did all the love go! She still loves him, she knows he loves her, so what happened! Why does she feel so lonely and trapped.
The living room is filled with the echos of what used to be their laughter, and the dust of sweeter times. Their bed has turned into two camps, of back apposite to back. That’s how the go to sleep every night! He says “I love you, good night baby” kisses her on the cheek, turns his back and falls right to sleep! She turns her back too, and falls right into tears!
“He’s been having some problems at work, he needs some personal space to calm down” She told her best friend when she was visiting her a few days ago. “Stop giving him excuses!”Her friend replied! ” (IF) he has problems at work, he must grow closer to you, because when we love someone we only feel safe and rested with him, we forget our problems and troubles in his hug and the comfort of his kiss not the other way around!” she knows her friend is right, but she couldn’t tell her that. “Oh what a lovely vase, is it new”She said changing the subject.
Today its their first anniversary together, something inside of her tells her he forget. Or maybe he’s not into celebrating the occasion.Didn’t he do the same on her birthday! and on his own! Although she insisted on lighting a candle on a home-made cake and wishing him many years to come.
In the evening he came home, kissed her on the cheeks as usual. After he had his shower, they ate dinner quietly as they watched a movie. They had coffee after dinner, and as usual he opened his PC and started playing online games. She calmed herself down “I’m going to have a shower, don’t go to sleep, wait up for me” She said as she held his hand and looked into his eyes. “Ok”He said, looking back at his PC. She finished her shower, and again she was staring at her reflection. This time she dared to look “Tonight will be different, I’m going to get my husband back. It’s our anniversary, and I must remind him of all our great memories, and all the love we share!”As if she was challenging that sad young woman, She drew a smile on her face, and left the bathroom.
On that large bed, lay her only love, her partner in life, her husband. There he lay, with his back turned and his snoring killing the silence of the night! She couldn’t believe her eyes! She wept rushing back into the bathroom. She searched for her long left pack of cigarettes, she smoked and smoked and smoked until she wasn’t able to see her hands anymore, the smoke formed a large cloud of fog in that tiny restroom.”I was stupid enough to dream, to believe in the “happily ever after” nonsense! Rise smoke, rise and vanish just like my dreams” She puffed the smoke into the clouded area, and tuned off her last cigarette of the pack. “Cigarette dreams, that’s what my love story is. I love it, I can’t quit. But in the end I have gained nothing but smoky fog and a heartache that might one day kill me.
At midnight she woke him up! Annoyed from being awaken, he asked her what she wanted. “Happy anniversary honey” She said sarcastically. He, barely awake, hugged her and murmured “I Love you, hopefully we’ll celebrate it for many years to come” and he fell back to sleep. She thought, as she pulled herself away from his hands, “Do I really want many more of such celebrations?