LOL wisdom quotes of the day!

Quote

 

I have a few, pick which ever suits you. Here are my LOL wisdom quotes for today:

Never make the same mistake twice, there are so many new ones, try a different one each day!” by: Silvester the cat

“Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you”d ordered that” by : Living in regret!

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret” by: Married since 1914

Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?” by: hmm, I wonder!

 

 

 

Advertisements

Vows for Sale, here’s a laugh for you!!!

Good morning,

Good afternoon,

Or Good evening,

Whatever part of the world you live in, if you know English you will enjoy a good laugh anytime, and I have some good jokes coming up to you in this post but first !!! This post is part of the Humor therapy month I already started on my facebook page if you haven’t read my previous post on this subject I advice that you do, you’ll find some funny but extremely educative materials in it, then will you be a sweetheart and spare five minutes to check the facebook page out ? have a few laughs, share the jokes and help spread smiles and joy around? Here’s the link again:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rana-Armoush/266311370081448

enjoy it!

! During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

“Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.”

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”

funny wedding

funny wedding

 Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy,
he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

“Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

husband and wife in bed funny cartoon photo

husband and wife in bed funny cartoon photo

Help! I Think My Brain Is Leaking!!!

I’m totally technology proof! I’m always out of date when it comes to anything having to do with technology. I always catch up late, if ever! And you know all these technological terms that people nowadays use, I don’t understand the majority of it! Talk to me about poetry, and I will love you. About history, and I can go on for hours listing the history of most well-known nations, wars, epidemics… Arts, philosophy, psychology, you name it and I have the needed information. But not technology! That word is so heavy on my ears!

Whenever someone discusses anything related to this subject I feel like the lazy kid who sits in the back of the class, half asleep, with no idea of what the teacher is talking about, praying that she doesn’t ask him any questions!

To make things even worst, my husband is an electron mechanical engineer with a passion for technology! While I surf the net for poetry, literature and philosophy, he surfs it for the latest upgrades, inventions, computer programs! When he manages to download a rare application he’s as happy as a child on a Christmas morning! Some days, he would come home, excited to show me the latest technology he downloaded into his N8( this phone is his spoiled baby boy!) and I start nodding, and saying :” hmm! Wow! “you know like someone who gets it, but in fact I’m not even there! I’d be thinking about my baby’s diaper, or what to have for dinner! And then the deadly questions are asked:

-Do you like it( off course I nod in approval to God knows what!)

-Isn’t it something (I know) ,

-Do you know its a break through in the history of mobile phones ( yes, I know),

-What was I talking about (I don’t know!)

Yesterday I made him a nice dinner, gave him a neck massage, and then after I made sure his tummy is filled and his nerves are relaxed, I asked for a new laptop.

“Sure” he said.”what kind of laptops would you like

I was about to say “the kind that has a screen, a keyboard and can get me online faster than this old thing I have now” but I knew I’ll just sound stupid!

“You’re the expert, which do you recommend”

And all I remember after my question, was hearing all sort of names, types, features which I understand nothing about! I even thought “why did I have to ask! My laptop is just fine! sure its 4 years old, and very slow, but it’s just fine!

What Is wrong with my brain! why can’t I comprehend anything related to this subject! When my husband tells me that my computer has a virus, I feel sad as if its sick and I wish I could make it a warm cup of tea and give it two tablets of Panadol, maybe it will feel better! but then I remember it’s a machine that we’re talking about!

Another embarrassing thing about me, is that I have the memory of a fish!!! ( you know fish’s memory is wiped out every 5 seconds) especially when it comes to the names of pharmaceutical drugs! before our monthly visit to my daughter’s doctor I memorize the names of the drugs I’m giving her just like a student getting ready to take a difficult exam! But once that red hair man asks me: what did you give her for her ear’s infection, or for her tummy pain I black out ! “ehhhhhhh, ehhhhhhhhhh, ehhhh I squeeze my brain, but I can’t remember! I give my husband that desperate look that says : Help! and my hero runs to the rescue. Thanks God he has a good memory!

I’m starting to think I have a brain leak !

The positive side of this matter is that I don’t remember fighting with people! I would have had a dreadful fight with someone and two days later I greet them and talk to them as if nothing has  happened. At first people used to be surprised, but now they know me well, and it’s something they like about me (especially my mother in law!)

Where Did I Come From?

A little girl asked her Father, “How did the human race appear?” The Father answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.” Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.” The confused girl returned to her father and said, “Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God and mum said they developed from monkeys?” The father answered, “Well, Dear, it’s very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your mother told you about hers.”

Pictures displayed on this blog are taken from Google, and  or from different sites. The writer of this blog, doesn’t claim any copyrights of the above pictures.

Funny but Precious!

I just love Cats!

I found these gorgeous photos on net and just wanted to share them

Enjoy!

Rana

Pictures displayed on this blog are taken from Google, and  or from different sites. The writer of this blog, doesn’t claim any copyrights of the above pictures.