For better and for worse: Thank you!

It’s a journey that starts with a slap on the back, and you never know when it ends!It’s life! You’ll never get to know the famous ” Ups and Downs” until you experience it! You’ll never learn the lessons until the events are history and you’re looking back.

Live it, love it and embrace it. For  better and the worse, for richer and hpoorer, you ought to thank God!

Would you know the value of happiness, if you haven’t experienced sadness? Would you know the value of water, if you haven’t experienced thirst?  And I ask you, as I have asked myself, would you know how many blessings are shed on your life, if they weren’t taken from you, even for a short while?

We nag a lot, don’t we? we blame destiny for every wrong thing  we experience. We curse, we shout, we rebel for the tiniest and silliest reasons. How many times have you said: “It’s not fair!” or ” I don’t deserve this!” Or even worst ” Why me God? Why me!”

If you come to think about it, Are you the judge of what’s fair and what’s not? Who can be more fair than God? Can you? I have asked the question ” Why me God?” So many times, until I reached the answer ” Why not me?” The mighty God, who has given me so many blessings through my life, who has saved me from my own self and others, doesn’t he deserve my thanks and gratefulness when he puts me into trial? If I thank him and accept his judgment when I’m happy and healthy, doesn’t he deserve my thank you and acceptance when I’m sick and down? Is he my God only at my best, and during my worst I blame him?

For two months I was almost crippled, unable to walk, and perform the simplest everyday functions the way I used to. And guess what : that experience was the most in lighting and educative experience I’ve ever had! And I was sure to thank God for it, especially through my sickness. And that’s how I prayed through it.

” My God, I know that you are fair, and your judgments are just. If I’m sick because of all the sins that I’ve made through my life, then I thank you for the suffering I’m going through now instead of experimenting it after you take my soul. I pray that you would be erasing my sins through this suffering. If I’m sick, but not because of my sins, then I thank you for the purpose you intended for me, even if it’s hidden from me now, but I’m sure I will learn it later in life.  I pray that you lift this heavy burden off of me, if that’s your wish. Whatever you wish for me God, I accept it thankfully!”

Do this with me, think about your regular day, the one you might describe as boring. I guess you would say: I wake up, get out of bed, walk into the bathroom. I might change my clothes, or stay in my pijis. I have a cup of coffee….” In those three simple sentences, do you know how many actions you have done, and you have the Lord to thank for?  You might have never considered this before, I never did as well, until …

How would you feel, that on that same boring day, you woke up, but you couldn’t get out of bed? Your whole body was in terrible pain? unable to move your legs and having a serious wish to go to the WC. but the only way to do so is to ask for somebody’s help?! you can’t sit up straight to drink, and have to eat your meals lying on your back? you can’t walk, carry things or even dress yourself?!!! how hard is that? how tough?! Well now you know what a blessing it is to be able to do the simplest things, like walking, dressing, eating while you’re sitting up. and going to pee by yourself! You see how many things you’re blessed with? how thankful you should be? Before my experience I used to look to people on wheel chairs with pity, not in a bad form, but I used to be sorry for them. Now I see them through different lense: I respect them, for their courage, their strong will and their acceptance for God’s judgment. And for trying to make the best out of their condition.

Now I know, when I see crippled people in worship houses, that they’re there to pray for their own miracle, to ask for forgiveness and mercy and patience. They’re not there to put the blames on destiny, nor to rebel!

There are a few lines from an Arabic poetry that I came to admire so much, here’s my translation of these lines into English: You, who whines and weeps even though you are healthy , I wonder what would you do if you got sick? An evil person on this earth is the one   who wishes himself death every single day!

Indeed….

If you plant grapes, you shall not harvest  thorns!

Thank you to all those who prayed for me… your prayers gave me strength, and were definitely heard…

Thank you God for healing me…

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The miracles of Saint Charble, Lebanon!

We all search for that one miracle, that great spark of light to strike our lives and change everything for the better.

Some people are suffering from pain, or from seeing a loved one suffer! Some people are sad in heart and souls, but to those who have faith Our Lord has said :

 Matthew 7:7

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

And he has also said : if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Because God is merciful, he has given those who ask in faith the relief they asked for.

Here , in my country Lebanon, My beloved Saint Charble became known for his miracles of healing the sick.  People from all over the world, came to Annaya Lebanon to ask the Blessed Saint to cure them, and from all religions. And they testified of his ability to heal their pain.

I believe that Saint Charble, is a blessed touch of God’s mercy to his sons here on earth, I always pray to him and he’s always answers my prayers.

Here are some of the miracles that Saint Charble has performed:

Samia Matta
Samia got lung cancer. The tests revealed that her situation was so critical and she needed to undergo a surgery. She asked her husband to take her to the tomb of Saint Charbel. During this visit, she asked Saint Charbel to heal her or to help her die peacefully and quickly to avoid suffering. She drank blessed oil. Afterwards, she went to the hospital to start the treatment. The relevant tests revealed that she was healed.
She visited the convent of Saint Marun in order to thank God for the grace she had through the intercession of Saint Charbel and she got her healing registered on the Holy Friday, on April 22, 2011.

Suzy Bordkan
Two swollen glands of 2 cm and 1.5 cm appeared in her breast. She asked her husband in Lebanon to visit the tomb of Saint Charbel and prayed. He went to Annaya and lit a candle asking the intercession of the saint. When she woke up early, she found out that the glands have disappeared. She was completely healed.
When she came back to Lebanon, she visited the convent of Saint Marun and got her healing registered on April 26, 2011.

Georges Wehbeh
After nine years of marriage, Georges didn’t have babies due to sterility. He visited the tomb of Saint Charbel and asked his intercession in order to have a baby. The saint answered his prayer and Georges had a son after nine months and he named him Charbel.
He came once again to the convent in order to get this miracle registered.

Christian and Elie el-Chartouny
After buying them a new car, their mother took them to participate in the holy mass in Abidjan for it was Saint Charbel’s Day, in May 8. However, Christian and Elie refused to go into church and decided to go for a round. Their mother knelt in front of the Saint’s photo asking him to protect them so that they come back safe. At about 11:30 p.m., she heard them when they came back home so she could sleep. When she woke up in the morning, she found them on the balcony, still awake, then they called her. When she got out, she saw the new car damaged. They told her that they were driving too fast and their car deviated and hit an electrical post, 10 km away from home. At that moment, an old monk showed up, but they didn’t see his face, he got close to the car and pulled it away from the post. He tied it to a cord and pulled it extremely fast, crossing these 10 km in two minutes. He stopped the car in front of their house, he removed the cord and disappeared.
The mother thanked Saint Charbel for saving her sons. She came on May 8, 2011 to the convent and got this miracle registered.

Jacqueline Hanna
Jacqueline, a Copt woman, was sick but didn’t know the kind of her illness. A Copt priest gave her a relic from Saint Charbel and told her that he was healed from a heart attack when he visited the hermitage of Saints Peter and Paul in Lebanon. He told her: “Pray Saint Charbel and he will heal you”. Thus, she was healed from her aches.
A child named Ram, was living next to Jacqueline and he was studying in the Maronite School in Egypt. He got a disease in his eye and he couldn’t see anymore, suffering from redness and itch for months. All medicines were in vain. One day, he visited with his parents the church of Sainte Rita in Egypt where they prayed in front of Saint Charbel’s statute. The child implored Saint Charbel: “Saint Charbel, I can’t see and it’s painful. Would you please heal me?”
In the morning, his eye was healed. They went once again to the church and they thanked God for the grace they got through the intercession of Saint Charbel.

But I will say no more about this Amazing Saint. I’ll give you the link to website, please visit it, read the miracles that he has performed, read the thank you letters and testimonies from all the world. And Pray my brothers, pray deeply, ask Saint Charble to help you, with all your faith in God the mighty, and you shall be given what you ask for.

http://www.saintcharbel.com/home.php?url=stcharbel_grp&lgid=0&depid=5&grpid=7&menu=51

If this link doesn’t open please search on google for ” Saint Charble, Lebanon” and it will take to the official site. I hope you’ll find the miracle and healing you need with Saint Charble, the man of God.

Please don’t forget to mention me in your prayers, and wish me to get better soon.

I announce it a humor month!Laugh your sickness away!!!!

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle

The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide:

1.Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?

2. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q: Did he kill you?

3. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Laugh

Laugh

4.Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

Joke

Joke

You have probably heard about the laughter or humor therapy. This term has been introduced to the wide media audience through the past ten years, and after a lot or research and studies.

joke

joke

.

If you are wondering how humor and laughter can help cure your pain and illness or at least ease them, here’s an idea:

Chris Woolston, M.S. wrote uPagesnder the title of ”  Humor Therapy“:

“…..Researchers found that people who watched a funny 60-minute video experienced a significant drop in so-called stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Scientists say these hormones can contribute to a wide range of stress-related illnesses including depression and heart disease…”

“… Humor may also ease pain…The researchers also found that people with heart disease were 40 percent less likely to laugh in a variety of situations compared to people of the same age without heart disease.”

You can read more about this issue on : http://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/article.asp?AID=647533

So as you have probably concluded it’s time to erase  that frown off your face, and start wearing a smile instead! Laugh people laugh! Laugh about life, about your problems, about work… and if you can’t do it, then apply this old but very affective proverb: Fake it until you make it 🙂

cute-angry girl

cute-angry girl

Laugh to save your life, cure your heart, ease your pain and cure your depression! And laughter is contagious, that’s why they say laugh and the world will laugh with you!!!

laugh-joke

laugh-joke

Try the following exercise:  after dinner tonight, when the whole family is gathering in the living room, watching T.V. Start laughing, for no reason at all! Laugh out loud , fake it and laugh. Sure they’re going to ask you what’s wrong with you, and why you’re laughing. Ignore the questions and keep laughing, a few minutes later the whole family will be laughing. No one will know why but they’ll sure enjoy it and the evening will be much more pleasant!!!

Mr Bean- Monalisa

Mr Bean- Monalisa

[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

So I’m announcing a whole month of laughter on my facebook page, I will be posting jokes, funny quotes, funny pictures, cartoons , briefly anything that will draw a smile on your face. I will be laughing and waiting for all of you cute readers to laugh with me. Make this month a month of humor therapy in your life as well, join me , post your jokes, share other people jokes and help make the world a better and more happy place.

Here’s the link to facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Rana-Armoush/266311370081448

I hope to see a lot of you participating in this ” Humor Therapy Month, Help earth Laugh”

Last but not least: have a laugh… Hhahahahahah

Social Security A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “I will have to go home and come back later.” The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me” and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.”

jokes

jokes

Thank you Aisha of Aisha’s Scrapyard!!!

My talented and mysterious ( I already have the chills) Fellow blogger Aisha of Aisha’s Scrapyard posted on 17/03/2012 a blog titled: Some of my favorite bloggers on WordPress.http://ashscrapyard.wordpress.com/2012/03/17/some-of-my-favorite-bloggers-on-wordpress/

Aisha chose five of her favorite bloggers to talk about and dedicate this post to. I was happily surprised to see the name of my blog in her post , not only that but she also listed me as her second favorite!!!  Oh my God, I’m as excited as little child!!!!!

Check out what she wrote about my blog!

2. Rana Armoush

Tag Line : Passionate For Words.

She always fills me with good warm feelings through her blogs. Sometimes her blogs are simple 3 lines with a wonderful deep message and sometimes it just a story about a day of her life. But whatever that she writes, her words are genuine, passionate and worth.

There are messages for us to make us a better person for this life, hereafter, for others and for God.

Her freeverse poems are a roller coaster of emotions and feelings.

Isn’t this introduction bone chilling or what?!!!!

I’m so sorry dear Aisha for being late to thank you properly for your amazing encouragement and wonderful words! After I’ve read this a weird feeling of self-confidence filled my soul, so thank you again for all the positive energy you sent towards me through your post.

People Aisha’s Scrapyardis a must visit, go a head click the link and enter a world like no other! When I said she was mysterious I wasn’t exaggerating, she’s wonderfully mysterious! I always find something new in a weird but amazing way in her posts. Here are some of my favorite:

.I Finally Meet My Stalker Ghost For The First Time… For Real

.My Very First OFFICIAL & COMPLETE Experience Of A Lucid Dream…

.Women Are All SuperWomen Inside… Dare To Switch Roles?

Once More thank you Aisha!

 

 

 

An Amazing Father!

 

To all the Father’s out there, Happy Father’s day!
To all the hard working, loving, caring and providing men in our lives, thank you!
To all the women striving to fill their absent men shoes, happy father’s day! You deserve it to!
But my words today are dedicated to a wonderful man, a father I’ve witnessed coming to life.
To a wonderful Father,
To you my husband,

Baby,
Let me tell about your daddy,
Listen carefully as I brush your hair…
He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met
For the bitter and the sweet, he has always been there!
The moment you were conceived my girl
You were made from a mixture of love and care
Every step of the way your daddy loved us
He waited for your arrival impatiently, I swear
And finally you were here, after your difficult flight
He held your tiny body and kissed your little hands
With all the tenderness he could share
He was there for your first diaper change
For your first milk bottle and for your first bath
For your first smile, giggle, and when you sat on that little chair
Your father my child
Is the most amazing Man,
When you grow up,
And they ask you for your full name
Be proud to wear these letters
The few letters of his name
Be proud to say that you’ve been brought up
By a father who truly cares.
And because I love you
I honestly pray
That one day, you’ll meet a man who has your father’s traits
Only then I’ll be sure you’re going to be happy
With a love that lasts forever something much more than the usual human affair.

A Letter to My Baby Girl!

Dear Anna,

This is the first letter I write to you after your birth, and I’m very excited to tell you all the news that’s been happening in our lives lately. First let me start by telling you how much I’ve grown in love with you in these past eight months! From the moment I kissed your little hand in the hospital until this moment as you sit on the carpet playing with your toys and biting anything you could get your hands on! And I promise to keep loving you until the day I close my eyes and fall into my eternal sleep.

Baby girl, day by day, you’re teaching me how to be a mother, and a better human being. You’re eight months and two weeks old already, and every second of these eight months was an adventure. But there are certain moments that keep spinning through my mind every time I talk about you, I call these moments the peek memories. The first time I laid eyes on you when the doctor held you up after your delivery, and you were so blue and crying out so loud that your voice filled the operation room! That moment I was praying and crying and laughing at the same time!!! I was lost in that moment and all I wanted was to cuddle you and kiss you!

My second peek memory, was when we had a visit from some relatives who you’ve not seen before! When one of them tried to hold you up, you started crying and looked at me scared, and you tried to jump from the Lady‘s arms to mine!! I took you into my arms and for the first time I felt like a real mother, you were asking me to protect you  and I was there for you, and forever I ‘ll be there for you.

My third peek moment was the day you rolled over!! I was getting worried that you’re late to roll over and already seven months old! And one morning out of no where you rolled over! Me and your dad we were so excited, we were gazing at you not believing what just happened! And now you can’t stop rolling over and scooting yourself all over the house! I even caught you trying to pull over some of my decorative items! You’re so cute!

Here comes my Fourth and by so far my best peek moment! Your first tooth!!!! I’m super excited to tell you about this Anna, so last week you were biting on your plastic toy and suddenly you started screaming! Me and your dad rushed to pick you up, I thought you must have hurt your gum so I grabbed the teething gel and started rubbing your little swallow gum! I told your father : The poor thing must have heart herself hard, I can feel the cut beneath my finger! Thank God your father is the smart one in this family, LOL! He opened your mouth and saw your little tooth peeking out!

My poor baby, you have been really fuzzy through these few days. As another tooth peaked just right next to the other. And we haven’t been getting enough sleep. But I know it’s just a phase, another growth spurt that we’re experimenting together, and soon all the pain will go away and you’ll feel a lot better about those weird white things that appeared in your mouth all of a sudden!

OOOps  I forget to tell you about the day you first said Mama!!! But I wrote you a whole poem about that moment!

Anna, Me and your dad, we love you so much. Everything we do, every decision we take , we now do it with your best interest in mind. You’re the joy of our lives and the blessing in our house. And everyday we pray for God to give you a long healthy and happy life, and to give us the power to be there for you every step of the way and the good health to support you and watch you grow!

Until my second letter, stay as cute as you are, love you!

Mama

The Most Loving Heart

If Someone loves you for who you are

be you beautiful or ugly

Loves you even more than your mother or father or spouse would ever do

If Someone is there for you your whole life

through the bitter and sweet

and even when every body else shuts their doors in your face

this someone will be near you to wipe your tears and promise you

of better days, and  a better place

If this someone forgives you

even though you hurt him

it’s enough to be truly sorry and be sure to never do it again

he’s the best friend you’ll ever find in your joy and even in your pain

He knows your secrets even if you don’t tell him,

he knows your plans,

the roads you take, even the very word your thinking right now

needn’t you say!

He always does what is best for you, even though most of the times

you’ll doubt his ways

he keeps telling you to ask of him

and he shall give you what you ask for

all you have to do is believe that he’s always there for you

I bet you’re wondering now: Oh really? As if such a person exists!! Show me someone like that and I’ll never let go of him… right?

My friend, can’t you feel him already?don’t open your eyes and gaze around! see with your heart, there you’ll find him. Perfect in all his existence, the greatest heart of all times. The most loving , forgiving, father and friend. Trust in God my friend, he’s all that and much more than my poor pen could bare to write. Now that you found him, never let go of him…

Only to you I kneel

James 4:6 ESV  : But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

Micah 6:8 ESV  He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Matthew 19:24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

To you I come thirsty,

My throat hurts,

yet my tongue speaks the truth,

my lips are proud to repeat your name

only to you I kneel,

in pain I speak, the heavy burdens on my shoulders are becoming a part of my body

to you only , I reveal my weakness, and confess my sins…

Oh Father, Holy is your name

You lift my burdens, and ease my pain

Oh Father, Holy is your name,

you water my soul so I don’t feel the thirst,

Hear me Lord, to you I pray,

I light my candle, wipe oil on my forehead,and ask for your mercy

Holy is your name

Only to you I kneel  in shame of what my weak soul tempted me to do

I’m in pain because through my sins I made you sad,

forgive me Father I’m your little child

I deserve your punishment, but do not deprive me from your love

You have blessed me with your gifts

took away my pain

protected my soul and guided me to the right path again

Your generosity amazes me

your love softens my heart

isn’t it enough you carried a heavy cross, so I don’t

and you were crucified to save my spirit from doom

Hear my words of regret my Lord, and feel my tears

my soul is humbled by your presence and my heart craves your grace

To you I pray

This busy life with all its fake appearances has distracted us from meditating in your words

we forgot that you warned us that the devil will try to distract us as he disguises in many ways

Fashion, televisions , mobile phones, fancy cars, luxurious houses

do all these things really matter?

through your life you have shown us how little we need to be truly happy

in the most humble places you were born

and as a carpenter you have worked

you washed the feet of your students

and shared your dinner with the needy

you could have chosen any life you want

yet you chose to be poor and humble

help me reflect on your life

and learn from you my Lord, my teacher and savior

protect my soul Father

help me to be wise enough to hold on to my faith

let your beauty shine through my actions and my words

help me to be more modest and to remember that I’m from dust and to dust I shall one day return

Amen

We are not them!

Don’t be afraid my love

Our story is different from theirs

The rain will tell you

that you are my passion

and then, the wind knows it too

Winter realizes how I love you

since the cold, makes me long for your warmth so,

And I know, love

how you stay up in your nights

the moon is my spy, you see

and he told yesterday

how in love you are with me

Don’t be afraid my love

Our story is different from theirs

We live because we love

because we are born in love

And I,

I could feel, your heart pulses

sneaking into my blood

and you,

you could feel me in your heart

setting fire, controlling the beats

you are mine , and I am yours

and tomorrow,

spring will blossom in our dreams

and the sun,

will send its warmth to ignite every hope

and life will always smile…

But in difficulties,

I promise,

In the middle of the rain

I will be there for you

to care and ease your pain

and we will grow stronger

because our love is true

so don’t worry about others, we are not them!

forget you fear, and allow me sir

to keep falling in love with you.

Cigarette Dreams!

She stares at her reflection in the mirror as she combs her hair, as if she’s staring at a total stranger! She doesn’t know who’s that woman any more! That’s not her, those sad eyes aren’t her’s? That yellow skin and the ruins of a delightful smile, who do they belong to?
She has learned to fake her smiles lately, she has learned to play the role of the happy woman. Everyone around her envy her, they think because she doesn’t talk about her problems , that she has none! She starts brushing her teeth, with her sight focused on the sink. She’s ashamed to look into the mirror again, she doesn’t know how to explain herself to herself! That sad reflection is demanding an explanation, is hunting her to know why she’s doing the awful crime of suffering in silence! Oh but what does that reflection knows about life any way? She rinse her mouth with some water, grabs a towel and pat her wet lips avoiding any contact with the mirror! “I’m starting to hate mirrors” she thought, remembering how she used to spend hours in front of her mirror trying on different suits and different styles of make up. How pretty she used to feel, those times seem to be from the ancient past to her now. She feels so old, although she’s still in her early twenties.
She loved him, he loved her. They went on that crazy adventure and stood hand in hand against the whole world. He promised her that she’s going to be his queen for the rest of their lives together, she promised to love and cherish him until death do them apart. Now they’re together, the world that once was against them is now by their side. The people who tried to talk them out of their craziness in the past, are now jealous of how happy they seem to be. He treats her well, so well in fact that its to good to be true !
She hangs the towel back in its place, and leaves the bathroom. It’s time for doing the same boring house chores! As she vacuum clean the living room, she remembers the day they bought those sofa’s. They were still on the run, preparing secretly to get married. They rented an apartment in the country side away from anyone who might know them! They convinced the owner that they were newly weds! They had to furnish the place, she stayed and cleaned while he went out to get some cash from the bank. They were so excited to have their own place! When she saw the sofas she immediately fell in love with them, all she could thin of was all the wonderful love moments that they’ll be sharing on those sofas as they watch TV, or just chill in the evening by the fire-place! She draws a sad smile on her face, oh how cold and lonely these sofas seem to be now!
Into the bedroom she went. She opened the dark curtains, allowing a weak beam of sun ray to enter. She started picking up his pyjamas and socks from the ground. He has that annoying habit of throwing everything on the ground! He doesn’t bother to walk a few steps to put his clothes in the washing basket. She has told him many times that she felt insulted by that behavior, as if she was a maid and her job is to pick up after him. He promised her to change that habit, but promises with him remain promises. she makes that large bed, and spreads new sheets. She remembered that he picked that bedroom! He said he loved it because it had a large bed, on which they can roll freely every night! “We gonna need the largest bed you have”He said to the sales man as he looked at her and winked, her cheeks blushed! “Newly weds ha!”the sales man said smiling at the young couple as he walked them into a large gallery of bedrooms. “You have to know that you’ll be spending most of your time in that bed my lady”He whispered in her ears, and she blushed again! She takes a long look at that bed,oh how did that safe refugee turn into a silent death trap!
She tries to figure out what happened, why did their lives change! Where did all the love go! She still loves him, she knows he loves her, so what happened! Why does she feel so lonely and trapped.
The living room is filled with the echos of what used to be their laughter, and the dust of sweeter times. Their bed has turned into two camps, of back apposite to back. That’s how the go to sleep every night! He says “I love you, good night baby” kisses her on the cheek, turns his back and falls right to sleep! She turns her back too, and falls right into tears!
“He’s been having some problems at work, he needs some personal space to calm down” She told her best friend when she was visiting her a few days ago. “Stop giving him excuses!”Her friend replied! ” (IF) he has problems at work, he must grow closer to you, because when we love someone we only feel safe and rested with him, we forget our problems and troubles in his hug and the comfort of his kiss not the other way around!” she knows her friend is right, but she couldn’t tell her that. “Oh what a lovely vase, is it new”She said changing the subject.
Today its their first anniversary together, something inside of her tells her he forget. Or maybe he’s not into celebrating the occasion.Didn’t he do the same on her birthday! and on his own! Although she insisted on lighting a candle on a home-made cake and wishing him many years to come.
In the evening he came home, kissed her on the cheeks as usual. After he had his shower, they ate dinner quietly as they watched a movie. They had coffee after dinner, and as usual he opened his PC and started playing online games. She calmed herself down “I’m going to have a shower, don’t go to sleep, wait up for me” She said as she held his hand and looked into his eyes. “Ok”He said, looking back at his PC. She finished her shower, and again she was staring at her reflection. This  time she dared to look “Tonight will be different, I’m going to get my husband back. It’s our anniversary, and I must remind him of all our great memories, and all the love we share!”As if she was challenging that sad young woman, She drew a smile on her face, and left the bathroom.
On that large bed, lay her only love, her partner in life, her husband. There he lay, with his back turned and his snoring killing the silence of the night! She couldn’t believe her eyes! She wept rushing back into the bathroom. She searched for her long left pack of cigarettes, she smoked and smoked and smoked until she wasn’t able to see her hands anymore, the smoke formed a large cloud of fog in that tiny restroom.”I was stupid enough to dream, to believe in the “happily ever after” nonsense! Rise smoke, rise and vanish just like my dreams” She puffed the smoke into the clouded area, and tuned off her last cigarette of the pack. “Cigarette dreams, that’s what my love story is. I love it, I can’t quit. But in the end I have gained nothing but smoky fog and a heartache that might one day kill me.
At midnight she woke him up! Annoyed from being awaken, he asked her what she wanted. “Happy anniversary honey” She said sarcastically. He, barely awake, hugged her and murmured  “I Love you, hopefully we’ll celebrate it for many years to come” and he fell back to sleep. She thought, as she pulled herself away from his hands, “Do I really want many more of such celebrations?