Last week my baby girl fell down and bumped her head, while I was doing some chores around the house. She started crying, and I immediately rushed to pick her up. The moment I held her she stopped crying and cuddled me!
Knowing how serious and dangerous a head injury or concussion might be, I called her doctor. He asked whether she was vomiting or seemed to be sleepy or tired. Thank God she wasn’t! She was playing with her toy and giggling. He told me there was nothing to worry about , but I better keep a close eye for any of these symptoms for the next 24 hours.
That night I wasn’t able to sleep, I kept cuddling Anna and crying. I felt so guilty, for leaving her on her chair to do my chores. I had her sleep by my side and kept checking her breath all night! I even woke her several times just to make sure she’s ok. Since then, my guilt has been pursuing me, I don’t want to leave her at any moment of her awaking time! I only work around the house when she’s sleeping, which isn’t enough because she only takes little cat naps. And I wasn’t able to write any new posts, up until now.
I know that the guilt I felt was normal, and thank god my baby is fine. Her pedia told me that it’s always worst on the parents then it is on the baby ( psychologically speaking). But It was a good wake up call: I’m always worried about cleaning the house, cooking, inviting friends over, making sure people sees me, my house , my marriage ,my baby as ideal as possible. Now I know all these fake appearances don’t matter, what really counts is my baby’s health. What really matters is being there for her, even if I spend my whole day doing nothing but cuddling her and playing with her. Time passes so quickly, she’s already five months old and Soon I’ll be driving her to her first day of school without realizing how time went by. I don’t want to miss any moment of her growth.
How about you? do you have a similar story about your baby?
Or have you ever felt guilty about being distracted from a loved one when he needed you? I would love to hear from you, maybe my guilt will grow smaller…