I’m writing this post while lying on my back and holding my laptop upside down, so excuse me for all the typing mistakes I might be making.
July has been a tough and sad month in my family. Tomorrow is the last day of this month and I can’t explain how happy I’ll be to say goodbye July and welcome August.
At the beginning of July, I hurt my back badly while moving a sofa on my balcony. I can’t tell you how many times I have moved this sofa, but for some mysterious reason on that day ,moving it gave me a terrible pain in my back! I didn’t give it much thought, took a five minutes rest and then carried on my usual house chores. Two days later I was unable to move, every muscle in my body was hurting. My husband rushed me to the nearest hospital where the doctor asked for an x-ray of my back. He later told me that I’m suffering from disc!! He wrote a prescription and asked me to rest, and not lift more than 5 kilos.
A week later after taking the medication and resting, the pain only grew worst! I wasn’t able to walk, and my husband had to carry me around! We went to see a new doctor, who decided I had to take B 12 injections because my nerves were all swallow. He ordered me to complete rest for 8 days, and warned me that this was serious.
I was unable to carry my baby girl or take care of her, she would be crying in her bed and I would be crying in mine at the same time! My sister came to help, she was taking care of my baby and my husband of cooking. The house was a total mess, and I wasn’t able to hire anyone to clean up. why? Because suddenly, no one in Lebanon wants to work as a house keeper!
Two days after I started my injections, my husband came home early from work! His right hand all wrapped! He had an accident at work, an electrical appliance exploded while he was using it. And caused him a second degree burn! “Thank God you’re still alive !” that’s what the doctor said when he saw him!
Two weeks later, my husband’s hand is 70% better, thank god! And the doctor said within two months it will heal completely. As for me, the injections didn’t work and I’ve entered into a new cycle of therapy. This is my last chance of getting better, the doctor says! For one week I should lay on my back, and move only if I had to go to the restroom. Or else I will not be able to move without a wheelchair ,surgical operations are not very much advised , especially for someone young like me ,but we’ll see what happens.
My little girl crawls over to where I’m laying, she stands up with some help from my left hand. She puts her little head on my shoulder and closes her eyes. She makes me cry, I grab some chocolate chips from a bag beside me and feed her one by one. She claps her little hands and says “za2if” , which means clap in Lebanese, I taught her that before I got sick.
I wonder whether I’ll be able to hold her again, whether I’ll be able to take care of her again. I wonder whether I’ll be able to live a normal life again. I look at my husband, as he takes care of our little girl with his hand still wrapped and I’m thinking they both deserve better. But still, I thank god for everything, even the pain because it made me realize how lucky I was to be able to do the simplest thing like walking, and carrying my little one.
And I pray, that August will come with all the goodness in the world to my family, me and all those who need it, I pray for a healing for my pain and sickness and that one day I look back to this phase of my life and smile at the memory, and thank god for healing me.