Husband says; “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me”.
Wife replied; “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It’s $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I’ll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I’ll get you some nails and wood.
A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says that there’s nothin’ special… we just flat out tell’ em they’re gonna die…
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” She simply replied, “No peer pressure.